Now, I don't want to do homework, so I'm updating my blog.
Sorry, no pictures this blog. Just words. I have a writing class this semester, and I've really enjoyed some of my own work. So I'm posting it in my blog.
This is a satire I had to write for class. If this one offends you, then good, you need to be offended. The people being mocked in this are horrible parents. Sorry.
Happy reading. (I have a much more controversial one, but I'm only going to post one at a time. In case people get angry with me.)
College the Second Time Around
Ronald J. Daniels, President
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore Maryland
Mr. Daniels,
I am writing to ask for an extension of the recently passed deadline for application to your medical school. Unfortunately many things have happened of late, and my son was unable to complete the application process in time. Dudley has been very busy with all of the things that college students are expected to do, and I never received a letter from your school warning me that the deadline was near.
College is so much more difficult now than it was back when we were kids. Back in my day, I spent so much time worrying about grades and schedules that I never had time for any fun. Fortunately, my boy, Dudley, is a much better student than I ever was. Somehow he always finds a way to be responsible and have fun, too. He seems to know exactly how to get things taken care of.
In fact, I just recently returned from campus because a teacher tried to give my dear sweet Dudley a bad grade. Can you believe that? The nerve of his teacher. Naturally I did the only thing any responsible parent would do. I went directly to the college president. He tried to convince me that the teacher and Dudley should decide what how to resolve the situation. What kind of school is this anyway? How do they expect my sweet little boy to do all that homework when he has a job and everything? They didn’t even send a note home to me. I can’t believe they expect Dudley to do well when they don’t even keep me up to date on his assignments. To make matters worse, he got a parking ticket that very same week.
How can they expect Dudley to read all those silly signs posted all over the parking lot? He knows he needs to concentrate on his driving, especially since the police tried to blame him for that accident just because he was texting. Of course, this meant another trip to campus for me. Dudley ’s not going to pay 20 dollars for something that couldn’t possibly be his fault. Besides, he doesn’t have the money, not since all those friends came to his dorm and asked him to spend the money I gave him for food on that silly party. Luckily, the Dean of Students and I have gotten to be such close friends, he convinced those awful ladies at the cashiers office that Dudley shouldn’t have to pay for the ticket now that he was going to buy a parking pass. Do you know how expensive those things are?
College isn’t cheap. That’s why I told Dudley it was time for him to get a job. I can’t do everything for him, you know? I went with him to every interview. It took some time for us to find the right place for Dudley, but after getting to know the store director, Dudley was hired at a local grocery store. Imagine my surprise when I went to have a visit with the store director about Dudley’s promotion and he told me Dudley was to be fired. He had only missed work once, and that was because he was going to the homecoming dance and they didn’t give him the night off. If they wanted him to work, they should have asked him if he had plans.
Apparently Dudley was outside gathering the shopping carts when he spotted some friends at the convenience store next door. Of course he has to go say hello, after all he’s very popular, and besides he was getting quite hungry. Well, his manager must have been spying on him, because he showed up out of nowhere and got mad at Dudley for taking a small little break. He tried to fire him on the spot. Luckily I was already on my way to the store.
Don’t worry the store director and I just finished talking to Dudley ’s manager. He understands Dudley a little better now, so we shouldn’t have any more of these problems. I was also able to get that unreasonable teacher to find a way for Dudley to get the grade he deserves. As you can see, I’ve been really busy lately. It seems a little silly for me to have to do all this work, but, as you know, they expect college students to work really hard these days. So if you could please accept Dudley ’s application, I’m sure you will find that we are the perfect fit for your program.
Thank you,
Mrs. Bumpkins
P.S. Since it is obvious that we will be seeing a lot of each other, could you please send me a letter when houses become available for purchase in your area? Of course, Dudley will be living on campus, but I just couldn’t handle being so far away, where he wouldn’t be able to help take care of me.
